is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
