its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
