Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
please come you make the beer taste better
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
