My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
