his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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