At least make sure they are 18
Why
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
