Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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