Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
