walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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