i just wanna soil my oats bro
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
