I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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