He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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