so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
