Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
