Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
