singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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