I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
