"it" just moved
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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