the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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