Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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