My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
he was CRYING into my vagina
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Randomize
