we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Randomize
