Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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