i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
