Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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