I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize