it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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