My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
We don't watch enough power rangers
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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