I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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