STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
