I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
