This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
