I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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