He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
