just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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