Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Drunk is not a location!
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
