Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
