Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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