I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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