I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Randomize
