I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
