Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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