I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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