1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
