I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
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