1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
