Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
