Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
