Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
