We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
