we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
She's the barista slut.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Randomize
