am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
