Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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