he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
