Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
